It’s been a while, eh?
My body has been on the back burner for a while.
Mostly because it’s almost a non-issue at this point.
It’s surprisingly weird how easy this feels on the back end of things.
I know my journey wasn’t that. It wasn’t easy. I don’t know if my journey was typical or normal or how other people’s journeys went. I’m pretty sure my journey is not over yet.
But I do know that today, not dieting or purging via exercise (no, not all exercise is purging, chill), I felt cute and that was awesome.
I felt attractive.
I felt sexy.
I liked what I was wearing.
My hair was having an especially good day.
I know this isn’t every day for me. I know most days I don’t give too much thought to how I look. I know there are still days that I grab my belly with disdain.
I know there will always be such days.
But before, there weren’t really these other kinds of days.
Before, there weren’t these days that I felt good. Not unless I was towards the end of a diet cycle, checking out my before and after picture. Even then, they were fleeting. Quickly taken over by the question “How much more an I lose?” or “How will I keep this weight off?”
So that’s where I am today.
For the most part, I eat what I want, when I want, without guilt.
I’ve even started working out, depending on how I feel, and what my body seems to want.
And that’s all I’ve ever wanted. To trust my body to know when it’s hungry and what sustenance it needs and what movement it desires.
I’m getting closer now.
My body story is almost complete.