First of all, I realized in writing this title that I have no idea what any of the standards for capitalizing titles are. If anyone wants to hit me up with that information, that would be great.
Secondly, I want to talk about solutions we would rather not take.
This happened to me recently as I was trying to figure out how to move from one apartment to the next. Between misunderstandings, forgetfulness, poorly planned trips, and an all together different set up, I found myself stressing out pointlessly over how I was going to move my possessions.
My parents, thankfully, offered to help. As did some friends in the area. But I just couldn’t figure it out. I had to be out of my current apartment on February 1st. My next lease didn’t start until February 1st, and though I’d be able to store some stuff there beforehand, the lovely winter in Portland was playing mean tricks on us all.
I felt stuck. And when my soon to be previous roommate said she was looking at moving companies, I knew that was the answer. But there was something deep inside me that felt that it was wrong to hire a moving company.
I guess not wrong. But I had a deep held belief that if I had to hire a moving company to help me move, there was something flawed in me. To me, having to hire a moving company was a clear indication that I have no friends. To me, having a to hire a moving company meant I was a sad, lonely person. Ugh, I really hate my brain sometimes (though I totally understand where it’s coming from, yadda yadda yadda).
For days this move had me in an anxious tizzy. It was literally making me nauseous. I talked to my sister about the stress of planning everything. About a need to control everything because I knew I screwed up in scheduling a trip on the last weekend of the month that I had to move (that probably was not my most intelligent decision). I talked to my friends about how the need to hire a moving company made me feel inadequate and like a loser.
And still, I knew that that was the solution. I just didn’t want to admit it because of issues I was not really willing to face.
Well, today I scheduled that moving company. Do I still kind of feel like a loser? Yes. This shall be addressed in therapy. But I also feel a huge weight lifted off my shoulders. Now I don’t need to control my move. I can just let go, be thankful that I have the means to pay for movers, and try to enjoy this move (a time that can be stressful anyway) as much as I possibly can.