Emotional Intelligence, An Intro to Self-Development

I’ve realized one of my struggles with this blog is that it is very unstructured. You should see how many things (post drafts, notebook paper, journal paper, paper, paper, paper) I have scribbled plans on. I think the closest I came to structure was my Fearless Friday posts. But those, sadly, started falling to the wayside.

This is another attempt at structure. And accountability.

Several weeks ago I was lucky to take an Emotional Intelligence (EQ) training at work. And by lucky, I mean I made it happen. I signed up for it. It was awesome. But it also made me cry. Part of the training was taking an EQ assessment. I felt my results were abismal. I have always been very intense about tests. So my abismal results were a serious heartache. No matter how many times the nice trainer said my results weren’t that bad.

As we talked (we had ten minute individual meetings), we covered some of my weaker areas (there are 15 total), as well as some of my stronger areas. Most interestingly we covered how everything works together. I left with red eyes and a slightly more optimistic attitude.

That weekend I bought The EQ Edge, one of the books recommended by our trainer, and set out to improve myself.

Two weeks ago I finally printed out the results of my EQ assessment.

Today I finally cracked open the book!

I have a tendency to overwhelm myself. I sign up to do 1000 (that’s only a small exaggeration) things at once. That lasts anywhere for 4 hours to 4 months, and then I crumble into a pile of failure when it all gets too overwhelming.

So this time I’m going to try to be more reasonable.

Of the 15 attributes I’m focusing on 6: my two weakest attributes as well as the four well-being/happiness indicators.

  • assertiveness
  • independence
  • self-regard
  • optimism
  • interpersonal relationships
  • self-actualization

My first topic will be assertiveness about which I will write more tomorrow. My intention is to update you guys on my progress every Sunday.

Today I realized something odd. My whole life I was told the importance of training and improvement. I picked a field I had interest in. I went and got a degree in that field. Then I trained further by getting a graduate degree. I took notes, practiced, did exercises and homework all to get better at the skills required to be an engineer. I did this for six years. At the same time, I started working – usually taking required training that came along with my job.

The point is, I spent a lot of time training as an engineer. And I’m not even totally sold on the idea of being an engineer! But I’ve never really given much serious time to developing myself as a person.

Sure, I have read plenty of self-help books, but I never did a whole lot beyond that. As that post indicates, for whatever reason I’ve always been kind of embarrased about reading these books. It’s only now that I’m starting to understand that self-development, training for being a better person, is of huge importance to me.

I’ve always had an image of what I wanted my life to look like. Lately I’ve realized that a huge part of that image was how I behaved, how I carried myself. So self-development will start being a part of this blog because it will start being a more active part of my life.

Hope you enjoy!



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