One of the things I’m truly brilliant at is finding excuses to not do things. It’s really an under-appreciated talent. And by under-appreciated I mean I’ve come to be so good at it that no one, myself included, notices when I do it. You see, when I’m faced with the possibility of doing something that will put me out of my comfort zone, I make a quick pros and cons list in my head (I don’t want to hear your thoughts on this behavior, it just happens) for which the cons will always outweigh the pros because I can always (as mentioned) reason anything to tragic consequences.
By making this blog and my list of things I’ve added another couple of items to that pros like, ie “I get to cross it off my list,” “I get to write about it,” “If I don’t do it, the people who may end up reading this blog may give me shit about it.” The only thing that sometimes scares me in and out of things more than tragic ends is peoples’ low opinions of me. That’s another thing I’m working on. Not for this blog.
Another thing I’m truly brilliant at is signing myself up for things, paying for them, and then backing out. I’m all in, until it actually comes to doing things, then I’m probably in bed. You see, one day when I had already paid for something that I didn’t want to do, I called my parents in agony. My dad explained the concept of a sunk cost to me and has unknowingly regretted it ever since. I’m getting off topic again.
When the Young Professional’s organization at work e-mailed about a kayaking trip I was wary, but remembered this little projects of mine. After a few days of internal debate, I clicked the link and signed up to go on a 4 hour kayak trip on a lake. I hadn’t been kayaking since I was 11, when my dad threw out his back our first winter in Massachusetts. I used to love going kayaking and figured if I loved it then why not love it now.
A couple of weeks passed and the day before the trip arrived. I knew three other people going on the trip, one well, and the others just as acquaintances. The evening before the trip one of my good friends said she wanted to go shopping the next day and would anyone wanna come with her. That light-bulb in my head lit up. This was it. The excuse I needed. It didn’t need to be reasonable, but obviously my friend was in need of some assistance on her shopping trip, and I cannot leave a friend in need for a selfish reason such as a kayak trip.
I lay the foundations of my excuse, mentioning to all parties that hopefully I can work my schedule to both go shopping and go kayaking. Kayaking couldn’t possibly take that long, right? I was all set to wake up the next morning and just tell my friends that I wouldn’t make it to kayaking. But when I woke up it was like the cloud of bullshit had lifted. What was wrong with me?! Did I really want to go shopping over kayaking?! I don’t even like shopping that much. Well I do, but I certainly didn’t need to buy anything. And my friend had already gotten another girl to tag along and help her find stuff. So I put on my waterproof attire (aka swimsuit and running clothes) and waited for my ride to kayaking. Of course he was a half hour late, which gave me another half an hour of internal struggle.
You’ve already read a lot and are probably wondering when the heck I’m gonna talk about kayaking, but I’m not. The trip was really fun. And as is usually the case, I’m really happy that I went. I got stuck a few times, but got myself out of those corners. I even yelled at a guy that I could save myself cause I’m an independent woman. That’s really not something I’m super proud of, mostly cause it came off as obnoxious, and I do want a man in my life, but hey it might make you laugh. I love making people laugh. Not once did I capsize, and I’m not sure how I would have felt if I had. The real beauty of this trip though is that I couldn’t just quit. This company dropped us off at one point and met us at another. So I couldn’t just get out of my kayak, carry it to shore, and call it a day when things weren’t going my way. I had to suck it up and get through it. And, for me anyway, when I have to do something I try very much to enjoy it. It usually makes it go by faster.